One little lemon
I am not good at gardening yet I do it— I like planting things and caring for them to watch them live out the cycle of their lives from seed to sprout to blossom to dried out husk of a flower. I help them grow as best as I can. My soils ph balance may be off, my pots may be too small—your roots may get bound quickly and I am slow to repot—for this I am sorry I try but I do love you. Oh and I water you maybe sometimes too much or too little but I keep digging and planting and pulling weeds to help you grow even though I am not a good gardener—but my heart is full when I am in you watching your leaves unfurl stretching upward toward the sun my heart unfurls with you and feels the warmth of your beauty wash over me.
I am not good at gardening—I will plant things and they will die early it makes me sad but I push on to be better. I plant more—I try. I am not a good gardener most days I don’t know what I am doing but my plants grow. They aren’t giants my plants but they grow but they don’t always blossom—my plants grow but they may die early—my plants grow but they end up withered weary and thin leaved sooner than later. I keep at it. I help them look as healthy as they can. I prune dead leaves and keep them going as long as I can. They make me feel hopeful. They teach me about living and dying. They show me the cycles they show me the seasons and help me embrace the present and be aware of time but not be halted by its overwhelming speed. They help me slow time by admiring each stage as brief as they may be I linger in their moment before it fades. I am aware of them I take them in I am grateful for being able to witness their glory.
I am not good at gardening but I keep going I keep growing because one day my tree I grew will bare one little lemon that grows and makes me feel proud even though I am not a good gardener my heart is full and I helped make one little lemon grow. That is enough some days—that’s all I need.
